Giving Him Up
by gxldentrio
Summary: "Love is putting the other in front of everything you ever thought you wanted. It's making someone your number one priority. It's knowing that ultimately, you don't need anything else as long as you have each other, and Lily and James are exactly like that." Told from Sirius' point of view. J/L One-shot.


belated birthday gift for my friend rhiannon (padfootdidit on tumblr)

* * *

Sirius was strolling through the castle when he found Lily Evans curled up in the Astronomy Tower, bawling her eyes out.

He had always been very confused as in what to do in the presence of a crying female, but ever since the Mudblood incident, he and Lily had become very close friends, and he actually knew how to act around her when she was down.

In fact, he spent the whole summer after Fifth Year trying to pick up the pieces and turn her into the Lily Evans we all know and love.

Sirius approached Lily's body carefully. He lifted her chin with his left hand, and placed the right one on her shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong Lil?" He asked her. It hurt him seeing her like that, one of her best mates, who was so obviously in pain.

She seemed to struggle to find the words, but nothing could have prepared him for what he heard come out of her trembling mouth. "I broke up with James."

"What?" He was astonished. "Why would you do that?"

"He deserves the best, and I can't make him happy." She was sobbing again.

"That's bullshit, Lily, and you know it."

"He's not happy, Sirius, I can tell he's not. I am done, I am done doing this, I want out, I want it to end, I don't want to this anymore. He's hurting, he's hurting so much and I am done being the reason why he's hurting."

"Evans, that's not-"

"Don't interrupt me." She said, with a voice two hundred percent stronger and more stern than she thought she was capable of at the moment. "Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside. I don't wanna hurt him anymore, Sirius, it kills me to see him like that."

"Lily, he's hurting, it's obvious he's hurting, but it has nothing to do with you! You're mental if you think that's got anything to do with you." He assured her, even though her cracked sobs told him he wasn't doing a great job convincing her.

"I'm giving him up, even if it kills me to do it. It's the best for him in the long run." Lily had her mind set on the matter. James was acting odd, distant, and she really just wanted him to be happy. "He's slipping away."

"Lily, you are a smart bird. But you're completely off your rocker if you honestly think you're doing him any wrong. He's the happiest when he's with you."

"Is he, though? I can't even remember the last time I saw him smile. And eventually he's going to get hurt. He deserves to be happy, and if he stays with me we won't have that."

"Is this about you being a Muggleborn again? I've told you so many times, Lil, he doesn't car-"

"Well I do! If anything happens to him, I'll go out of my freaking mind, Sirius. I need to protect him."

It wasn' supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. James' dad had just died, but Sirius had to stay strong for the two of them. His best friend needed a rock, and that's what he was trying to be. Seeing Lily, his best friend, hurting like that weakened is resolve to stay strong.

When Lily finally said yes to James, he'd been so happy. They had only been dating for two weeks or so, and she was breaking it off, not because she was regretting her decision to be with him, but because she valued his safety more than her own happiness.

Sirius knew James loved her. He knew Lily fancied James, sure, but he wasn't expecting this. After a few minutes of silence, Sirius finally spoke up.

"You love him."

"I never said I did."

"But you do."

This only caused Lily to sob even harder. Couldn't he see how it pained her to leave James? To give him up? Everytime she closed her eyes she saw the pleading look on James' face once she told him that they couldn't be together anymore, and it was tearing her apart.

"Is it wrong that I just want to be comforted by him, the only person I know who can't be around me anymore? He probably hates me now."

"James doesn't hate you. James could never hate you. He loves you."

"He doesn't _love_ me."

"Oh, but he does Lil. He's never going to stop loving you. He's _in love_ with you. And if you think for one second, that casting him aside will protect him, then you are completely out of your mind.

"He's a noble bloke, James. Regardless of your relationship with him, he's always gonna be in the front line of the fight. And if he gets hurt you should be right by his side."

"I… I need to go." Lily croaked out.

Sirius knew where Lily was headed. In the dark of the corridor, he smiled to himself. Lily and James were meant for each other. Sirius had always been one to enjoy the idea of love, but not actually believing it existed. That was, of course, until he met James and Lily.

* * *

"So, Prongs, I promised I'd write a good speech and all of that crap, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. You know I'm a lazy arse. If you wanted a proper speech, you should have asked Moony. So I decided to tell you this bit, because it was your moment. Seeing Lily like that broke my heart, but I knew it was for the best. You see, Lily and James falling in love was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to that bloody school. I never knew what love was, but my best friends taught me that.

Love is putting the other in front of everything you ever thought you wanted. It's making someone your number one priority. It's knowing that ultimately, you don't need anything else as long as you have each other, and Lily and James are exactly like that. And I love you both." A single tear was rolling down McGonagall's cheek, and James was full on sobbing by then. Lily appeared to be scolding him, but her eyes were bright as well.

"This is getting lame as fuck – pardon me for the language, Minnie." Sirius winked at his former Transfiguration Professor. "To Lily and James." He raised his glass.

"To Lily and James."


End file.
